Just a little comment from me.

When I was active in the SCA and someone said to me, "You should probably let someone close to you know what you want if you ever get elevated," I thought about this a lot.

I really like surprises. Of all the awards I've earned, only my KOE was a surprise. That made it my favourite.

However, since I was a big ol' Japanese persona when I was active, I knew that if I wanted my Peerage ceremony done correctly, I would have to coordinate it all. I'd been given too many post-WWII Japanese tourist gifts and modern kimono to trust anyone with my Peerage ceremony.

So I told people that I didn't want a surprise because I needed a month or so to make sure all the right stuff was constructed and in place for the ceremony.

But I really did want to be surprised...

Being the owner of a "shadow dagger" as a wedding gift, it is amazing the gifts given from a well-intentioned but ignorant heart.

Y'know, that might just be the difference between the service and arts "tracks" for lack of a better term. I had no preconceived notions and my friends well out-did themselves on my behalf, an honor I am continually grateful for.

I've also done research out of my areas when making peerage cloaks for friends to make sure they are as correct for the person as possible. One could argue that if your job has been done well, then your research is published so they can take it and make it to your specs and still have it as a surprise. It is amazing how sneaky my friends were in asking me without asking me. But I can completely understand the pull between, I want it to be right, and I want it to be a surprise.

Okay, can I say one more thing? =)

In my Kingdom, they used to say, "Costumers typically get a month to prepare." This was so they could make that spectacular outfit they've always wanted to make.

On the one hand, I think if you're doing Laurel-level work, you should already have enough spectacular outfits that you could wear. Everything you wear should be testament to your skill and knowledge and I would think that would be further proof of your worthiness of the honour.

On the other hand, there may be a spectacular outfit that you've never made because you didn't have the proper ocassion. To take a Japanese example, there are outfits I couldn't make because wearing them was above my station as a simple arminger. But as a Peer, I would be allowed to wear them.

Guess what: I'm a Libra

Personally, if that day ever comes, I want to be knocked off my feet with surprise. :P If I have time to think about it, I'll freak. LOL

I think different people prefer different things. I wanted mine to be a surprise and it was. I tend to plan things to death and then worry over every tiny thing that doesn't go my way. The fact that my husband, my household and my friends did so much to make my day special meant that I did not have that kind of burden and could focus on transitioning to my new role. In my case, the surprise was far less stressful than a writ would have been.

I don't want to be a stress puppy over the whole thing. Therefore, I ask that if it happens that it be a surprise (if at all possible).

I wanted to be surprised, and the only way that was going to happen was if everybody around me *wasn't* busy planning a vigil for the event. A writ could be a surprise, a full-blown vigil, not so much. I know Jeff WAY too well.

I didn't want to be stressed out, so I requested that other people worry about my vigil. Selfish, I know. :-) It was fabulous. I had my hand in a few things, made a new dress, and made Jeff clothes. It's not so much that I didn't have anything *good*, but I'm always growing (not my body, my mind!), and what I made last year isn't good enough for me NOW. Of course, it was Jeff's outfit that I spent the most time on - go figure.

Edited at 2008-02-25 09:55 pm (UTC)

There was a time in which I thought that if I ever was to be elevated, I might want a writ.

Then, I realized that I am too anal retentive to survive a writ. For one thing, I think I would drive all my friends nuts as I would be trying to have a hand in every single detail and they would end up tossing me out of the window as a result.

(Not that I can blame them. I would toss me out the window too!)

So these days, I think I would prefer to be surprised. If nothing else for everyone else's sanity's sake. My own was tossed out the window long ago.

If I'm ever elevated, it would mean the world to me for my Mommy to be there. If that could be pulled off as a surprise, it'll be best if I don't pick up a persona that wears makeup :)

I think surprises are best. That said, if it ever comes to pass for Guenievre or myself, someone else is going to have to do most of the work and planning if it's going to stay a surprise. We're just too all up in each other's business to not notice. When Guenievre got her Coral Branch, I knew because the scribe was a friend. Actually, Guenievre made the ink that was used in her own scroll. Anyway, I knew for like a week in advance, and it was torture not to tell her. So, I told Keilyn that if something else happens, just don't tell me until you absolutely have to. Thus, I found out about an hour before hand that Guenievre was going to get a Pearl...

I'm in favor of writs because that can be the surprise, and everyone (not just those really in the loop) knows about it ahead of time and can attend. It's not a big deal, but we've missed numerous elevations at events that we'd have tried harder to attend if we'd have known about them ahead of time. More than anything, I think that it should be whatever's likely to work best for that individual, regardless of tradition.

I say now that I'd want a writ, but that might be overruled by my husband, who would have to live with me between receiving the writ and the elevation.

I lean towards the surprise although I do understand the need for a writ sometimes. My preference would be that the writ be the exception rather than the rule. The ideal situation is when the candidate has discussed it with a peer or mentor ahead of time.

Personally, I know that I would have obsessed over details of the vigil and ceremony had I been given a writ. I admit to being a control freak, although I have made progress in that area. :-) When Eldred and I planned our wedding ceremony and reception, I obessed over details like crazy. I knew I would do the same for an elevation. It was far less stressful for me to have my friends plan it all. I also look on that planning and implementation as a wonderful gift from my friends and husband. I know it was great fun when I was on the other side of it, helping keep the secret of Eldred's elevation.

It was an act of trust for me to let go of control and allow someone else to do all the planning without any input from me. I see that as a part of my personal growth. I trusted that people who have been in the Order would have a better idea of what elements create a meaningful ceremony. As it turned out in my case, there were elements that I could not have planned that made the day more special.

Being elevated on the same day as a friend from my canton was especially nice for me. I was so thrilled for him that I completely forgot about the vague feeling I had that something was up. Walking out of his vigil tent to find the King and Queen and a bunch of people waiting for me was the perfect way to ambush me! From the setting of the vigil beside the water to the thoughtful, personally meaningful gifts to the worthies in my ceremony, everything was great!

You were surprised but we were aware. Both the Order who welcomed you and your dear friends who did their utmost to both maintain the surprise for you and make sure that it was as close to perfect as possible (including having non-Pels there that were meaningful to you).

My own "invitation" was private, in Their Majesties antechamber pavilion at Pennsic. I had a public one in court a few minutes later. I can assure you I was floored but looking back, a TON of people knew. I came back from court to vigil. I was still so shocked that I had to ask His then Majesty Stephan several times (in the three weeks that intervened before my ceremony) exactly WHAT he said to me when he set me on vigil.

I had exactly what I wanted, a private invitation then time to ready myself. Without that time, I would have a patchy memory of the ceremony like I do of my vigil.

When it came time for the elevation of my first protege, we had already had many conversations about ceremony. Indeed, I had already begun a chest and contents. I felt as a protege it was appropriate for her to come with me to vigils and we talked about the meaning of certain ceremonies/components. She wanted to be surprised and I could do that because I knew what she needed for the day. I also knew surprising her did not mean that others could not know. In fact, one of the things she absolutely wanted was for dear friends, nonpeers, to be present and where possible, included.

Now, I have two proteges and several folks who I have or am currently mentoring. I feel it is important for me to know what they want and what is meaningful to them.

I once was at a vigil when the candidates husband returned to site looking for her because she did not show up for their lunch date and he found her to be on vigil. John and I gave up our spots so that he could go in to be with her and I remember thinking, "Why the hell, did someone not make sure he was here?" How awful to have worried him.

Sometimes, I think we throw the baby out with the bathwater!

I think it really depends on the candidate and what they want and need.

I did NOT get a writ, thank god! I would have been a wreck before the date. I would have been sick, violently, not able to leave the bathroom sick. I would have had time to work myself up into a real tizzy and been unable to enjoy it at all. As it was, I had a perfect (for me) vigil and elevation--all a gift from my friends, my peer, and my household.

And the really sad part? I made the household banner that I was proceeded me into court, and I brought and set up my own vigil tent. I was working the MoL table when they called a court on the field--cool, I thought, fighter award, time for a smoke. A friend who is always trying to get me to quit smoking was trying to keep me from lighting up--I didn't think anything about it until I got called into court. I had NO idea why. I was confused when the Queen started asking me questions and told her I had already turned in my scroll for the day...Then they called in the Order of the Laurel, and my grandpa Laurel caught me as I fell over. I don't remember going to the tent...a lot of people helped me walk there.

I had spent a lot of time talking to my Laurel about what I wanted, and she got it right--I had an Irish caileigh (spelling?)... Music, song, Food, good Irish Whiskey and good Irish Beer--it was a celebration--No, it wasn't a solemn occasion, but that would not have fit me at all.

My friends and family made me new clothing--all mongol :) (Irish Persona, Mongol Household) I felt loved. Had I had a writ, I would have been so stressed I couldn't have enjoyed any of it.

My Pelican, there was no vigil (it was 2 months later). It was once again, a surprise, and a good thing too--I was in too much shock to say no. Once again, my friends came through--more peerage clothing to expand on what I had already received when I got my Laurel. When I get down on myself now, I just have to remember the love that was shown to me those days, and it lifts my spirits. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I was suprised. I hated it. I was sick as a dog and actually have very little memory of the occasion. I left immediately after court went home and nursed my 102 degree fever. I have no photos of the occasion, no scroll, and no recollection. If I didn't have the medallion and witnesses I'd swear it didn't happen.

If I were ever to become a Laurel, I would ABSOLUETLY want it to be secret. I have such faith in my friends and my Laurel, and after seeing what the are capable of for something so special.....I have nothing but faith that they would make it as special as possible.
But then again I have the unique pleasure of being surrounded by many (OK almost all) peers, who know what to do and what not to do.

I don't know. I"m not even an apprentice yet, so ....

I've 2 good friends that are "Laurelicans" -- and each was surprised with one peerage and planned the other. Mistress ME had the planned peerage first, Mistress S got the stealth-Pelicaning first.

I can see it both ways -- If I know it's coming, I can plan for it. If I don't know it's coming, I won't panic and freak and .....

My elevation at KASF 4 years ago was a surprise, exactly the way I wanted it. Kevin and I had discussed some years before what we wanted if we were ever elevated, and revisited those discussions a few times to make changes or whatever. I felt the same way you did, that if I was told ahead of time I would freak out over planning every detail. I know some people do not do well with being blindsided but I love surprises, so it was great. Plus, I was so touched by all the wonderful things my friends did for me to make my vigil and elevation special. I felt kinda like that Sally Fields Oscar acceptance speech: "You like me! You really like me!!" =D

I think the key is for people to discuss their wishes with their Peer/husband/SO/BFF/whatever, so that those who like surprises can have one, and those who don't can be comfortable on their big day. I don't really consider one way, surprise vs. writ, to be better than the other - they're both valid ways of accomplishing the same thing, and I think it's nice that there are different options open to candidates.

I am all for surprise. As others mentioned beforehand, with a writ, I would be a basket case and have people wanting to kill me before it is all over and done with. Now, that being said, I also know that if that day were to come, there are some people I would like to try and be there and some things I would like that match my persona. So I've made sure that the appropriate people(s) know about it.

If I was ever to surprise the order by pulling my head out of my 4th point of contact, and develop peer like qualities then I would like for the order to return the favor and surprise me.

Once and only once my husband did a surprise party for me, I was grateful and then made him promise never to do that to me again. I have a little social anxiety and have panic attacks and have even fainted before under extreme pressure, so I like to be able to build myself up to be prepared for intensely emotional situations, I survive surprise, but am in extreme discomfort the whole time. I know that it’s a little way off for both of us, but Ansel and I have both decided that we want notice. I personally feel that the ability to contemplate the meaning of the elevation while sewing every stitch of a master work, the ability to think about my vision for the peer I would like to be, the roll models that I would like to emulate, all with out the anxiety and stun I associate with surprise, I would like to be composed and able to think and listen without a fog of unreality. We also have peers and friends that would like to attend our elevations so the notice would help us to be able to arrange travel stuff from far away. Ansel wants to wear black on his legs, a white shirt, and a red cloak or doublet, preferably garments never worn before, he has a strong vision because of his extensive personal study of period knighting ceremonies and the meanings behind even the seemingly simple action of polishing one’s own armor and bathing before the ceremony. I understand why the surprise is exciting and fun, but I would rather soar on the wings of anticipation then have a moment so fleeting I cannot process it.

All of mine where surprises, though neither of the first two were well kept. Since the Pel was a drive by, the element of suprise was easy to keep. I prefer the suprise method because I too would be a nut if I had planned my own ceremony (and they would be pretentious as all hell - and too long). Others I care for feel differently however. There are levels of suprise. 15 knights hanging around my encampment watching me set up my tent is NOT a suprise. Dumbasses.

You know, I've been saying for a while that I would prefer a writ so that I could make sure all the people I would want present would be present. Upon further reflection, however, the elevation really needs to be a surprise. Otherwise I will twist myself into knots and drive Hubbyfink batpoop insane with my worrying and fretting about The Big Day.

Yeah, I need to update that info when Missy Anne sends The Spreadsheet out to the non peers of the household.

i am gonna show this to my friend, bro

well done, bro