What is the key to a most chivalrous prize that is given? How do we define the different behaviors we witness, and what is worth emulating? There seems to be some confusion amongst both fighters and spectators, so I'm curious how you define these...
( poll )

Sapphire was fun.

We drove down early Saturday morning to avoid the traffic, because Memorial Day traffic sux. We set up the tent, celebrated Susan's 16th birthday with cake and singing, hung out, caught Dominyck's surprise white-scarfing with the camera, went to order meetings, braided pretty Princess hair, and made Turkish dish of meat in an Eadric pot over the Eadric brazier. Spent the evening hanging out with friends- down at the deRath camp, up with Theo and Roland, and then over at the Caer Mear bardic.

Slept like a log on Saturday night, and woke leisurely on Sunday morning. Hung out, braided hair, braided hair, and braided hair, had a lovely chat with Emma, did a bit of Heir errands, and then hit the ground running for the Rose Tourney -fund raising for Arielle, bringing the signing book around some, chatting with wonderful generous folks, getting caught in the merchants for the main deluge, hit up others for sentiments and cash, and did some counting with outside verification on the funds raised. We micro-packed, went out to dinner at Mario's with Thjora, Antonio and Brian, and then came back to pack the then mostly dry canvas and get on the road home. We made it home by 10pm, partially unpacked, showered and crashed in bed.

Monday was sleeping late (while Alan unpacked the rest of the truck), playing with the new Sunsetter awning and pre-installation futzing, picked up the happy Ladybug pup from the All Dogs Club, and worked on installing the awning with help from Roland during a deluge. We got the awning up, spent some time hanging out under the shade listening to the rain, before heading over to the Morgenstern's for dinner, fine company and soaking in the hot tub.

Thus was our weekend- sunshine, ticks, road trip, friends, rain, good deeds, visiting, music, chocolate cake, hair-braiding, picture taking, cooking, and all... including the lack of coherence and eloquence.

A few of the positive aspects of attending the BOD meeting this weekend in Williamsburg, VA:

• The company of many wonderful and entertaining friends.
• Having many folks correctly identify isenglass  as the creator of my pretty pink pendant that I wore in honor of her run.
• Observing how BOD meetings work.
• Discovering that apparently Texans are taught that Jamestown failed. :)  (need to send a note to correct that- since I was stunned to hear such a declaration I couldn't accurately refute it.)
• Yummy food, and particularly dessert, both at the lunch buffet, dinner at Sal's with findlaech  and stringmonkey , and brunch at Lulu's with Mike and halowenslut .
• Walking around Colonial Williamsburg with a group of widely different and equally wonderful folks.
• Getting quite a bit of progress made on my current embroidery project.

Making the one month overdue deadline for the craft-swap meme sadly isn't likely to happen either. But I did make progress and finished up one more pincushion and started on the next one. I also played around with dividing two different colors of 3 ply silk perl thread into three bi-color strands of 2-ply thread. It wasn't without some problems, but I have to say that the end result is pretty cool. The resulting stitching with a 2-ply of the Soie Perlee does get a finer, more densely packed and less fluffy detached buttonhole which does look closer to the originals I've seen. I wonder if I can take photos that are carefully cropped to not give away the whole before I can send them to their recipients, but still show things I've learned? Hmm... Of course I was just grooving on some reverse chain stitch on the ride home when Alan's sinus medicines tossed him into snooze-land, so I had to stop and take over driving.

We got home, picked up the Ladybug from the All Dogs Club, and arrived home with plenty of time to mow the lawn/pull out more evil vines and nap before the rain hit.

~

This morning Ladybug broke a cardinal rule. Despite that she insisted on her walk and that we walked up and down the street in the pouring rain (hooray rain boots and umbrella) she did some "elimination" after the walk indoors instead of outside. Bad Dog! I cleaned it up since Alan's sinuses are continuing to be unkind to him, especially changes in position like cleaning something off the carpet would entail. Rotten creature. But she can be so cute when not messing on the carpet.

sigh.

This was necessary.
There was no rejoicing, nothing to celebrate, merely a huge sigh of relief.

Just some thoughts:
No one should attempt to use their station for anything other than to lift others up.
If many of your peers bring you counsel of a similar nature, it behooves you to listen.
While this may still be the Society for Consenting Adults to some, the key to that is consenting.
Respect Works.

I am by no means an experienced court herald, but I have performed the duty with pleasure enough times to garner a few tidbits of advice. I pray you all will forgive me for the following, perhaps presumptuous, notes.

-Take some time before court to discretely ask someone how to pronounce the names on the list that you are unfamiliar with, and write them out phonetically. This preparation can be your greatest ally. No herald is expected to pronounce every name perfectly through an entire court. And sometimes even when you have everything written out clearly, you still screw up. This is life and to err is human. However, as a herald you are the voice of the Crown or the Crown's representative. If and when you mispronounce a name, accept correction with grace, and make sure you get it right for the Vivats.

-Attention to the seated royalty is paramount. If they need your attention, they should be able to get it with the slightest nod. When handing forward scrolls, medallions or anything else, you should be able to place the item directly in Their hands, instead of simply thrusting the item forward or to Their opposite side where They are not looking. If you find this too much, it is rarely difficult to find an assistant who will happily handle the scrolls once you have read them and attend to those seated.

-Heralds seem to take on the roll of keeping with protocol. I view it as the court herald's job to ensure that those seated before the populace are aware of protocols, and given the opportunity to keep with them. If the Crown/Baronage don't direct you to instruct the populace to be seated, ask them if you may. If they do not thank the crowd for their attendance and the hosting group for their efforts, discretely whisper those suggestions to them. At the end of court, ask them if there is anything else before the court is closed. These are some things I have whispered to those seated before proceeding with calling forth those requested for awards. It is a small but important part of the job to ensure that protocols are followed.

-Someone needs to arrange the business for court, organize the scrolls, set the order of business, and possibly check into the attendance of those on the court docket. Sometimes this is done by a retainer, sometimes by a herald's assistant, and sometimes by the herald themselves. In general, awards should be given in person. If the Crown insists on giving awards in absentia, it is a kindness to arrange ahead of time with someone to accept the award on their behalf. The Crown may have the award recommendations on-site. Often a check with the recommender or their baronage will clear up if the candidate is on-site, or if they can accept the award on their friend's behalf.

-It is also of note that Baronial courts are opened inside a Royal court, when the Crown is in attendance, and thus when the Royal court continues after a Baronial court interlude, it is continuing instead of re-opening. If you have not uttered "There being no further business, this closes the court of..." then the court is not closed and does not need re-opening.

The court herald, like all the retainers, should enhance the court experience, and make the Crown look good and the process polished. Distractions from the presence of the Royalty and Their representatives should be minimized. The great court heralds draw attention to the Crown and keep attention on the business at hand. I'd also recommend the second part of my Retainer 101 handout regarding standing in court.

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Some other useful links:
Yves' advice for the aspiring SCA court herald
Philosophy of Court Heraldry
A Herald's Guide to Surviving Court

In hopes of continuing the advice, for those who want it, I'd like to post my version of what sircorby's post should have been...

For those looking for tips on how to update their SCA kit and appearance, here are some
Best, Easilest Easy Things To Avoid or Remove from your SCA Kit

The idea here is to note the things that
1) too many people do, and/or are too often seen
2) Are easy or cheap to change or avoid,
3) are in no way medieval nor add to the ambiance of events
4) do not constitute a health or safety concern.
Feel free to chime in!

• Ring Belts. I've never seen an example of one of these in period. Belts have real buckles. Woven belts and belts with buckles or other closures are more useful and more accurate. If you are buying a belt, you might want to look into ones with even a simple buckle. If you have an old ring belt, and wish to convert it to a buckled belt, any armorer/leather-worker/fighter with an armour repair kit can likely aide you if you ask.
  
• T shirts whose collars are visible under your tunic. Get an undertunic, or a v neck t if you must.
• Tankard Holders. These are from the 1970's Renn Faire Period.
• More than 2 favors on your belt. Some people look like rag merchants from so many. I think the main point here is to not leave every favor ever acquired on a belt and to simply tie on that belt unceremoniously each event. This can lead to a belt of tattered favors that may leave them looking more like rags than the tokens they started out as. Favors are meant to be personal, a tie to a person, land, Crown or household. No one can dictate what you wear, but think of the intent of the token when you wear it. If you insist on wearing the badge of your barony or shire, take care of it and place it upon your person with purpose. Take care of and archive older favors so that their beauty and honor are maintained. And each favor, ritual accessory and/or item of regalia should be worn with contemplation of the meaning it holds internally and the meaning is displays to others.

Note, truly helpful suggestions of, and ideally possible solutions to, common pitfalls that newcomers and seasoned participants fall into are cheerfully accepted. No trolls allowed.

One example is white trainers or sneakers. Head and Toe are sometimes the hardest areas to get right easily. Assuming your sneakers aren't required for your health, contemplate darker shoes that will at least blend better. If you are up to experimenting, sharpies or shoe-black can help disguise obviously modern shoes. Spats are another suggestion, and one often implemented by our fighters. One other option is to use less supportive shoes with supportive insoles. Keep in mind the activities you plan to do, from standing in the kitchen chopping vegetables, to sitting and teaching someone to knit, when you consider your footwear. I personally have a variety of footwear options in my closet from the basic china flats and black merrel-like slip-on shoes to modern leather mary-janes, purchased medieval shoes off the rack, and custom reproductions.
There are options for almost all budgets.

One of the random conversations I had this weekend centered upon the layout of the average, and above average A&S displays. This is not a criticism of St. Luke's, but A&S displays and hall layouts in general. So much planning goes into the event; the food, the directions, the schedule, etc. that it seems that the room layout just goes to default. The problem I've seen is that the default does not suit the human animal.

We tend to line tables up in rows, but we don't often leave enough space between each row for folks to stop and admire while still letting others past. (Excuse me, pardon me, can I squeeze by to see the next thing over?) We don't allow for booty room, not to mention big skirts, large sleeves, baskets on arms, etc. The rows also don't give a default front to the display, so some may set-up facing one direction while others set-up facing another direction. It can make it a bit confusing and you have to wiggle your booty by someone else in order to move around to the other side of the table to see the correct side of a display. The classic set-up also doesn't leave room for artisans to stay with a display and do a presentation or demonstration, unless you snag an end of the table, and then you might stick out into an aisle. It should also be noted that if humans naturally easily followed zig-zag lines then banks, concerts, amusement parks, and graduations wouldn't need stanchions to give line guidelines to people.

I still distinctly remember the one KA&SFest held in Greenville, SC for many reasons, (the poor epileptic herald, Jake's fine road trip company, the fine Indian food afterward, crashing with Bera and Chris) but what I remember the most is the amazing set-up. I don't know if it was consciously done or to accomodate the setting's limitations, but it was the best ever. Instead of one big room there were two medium sized rooms for displays and competitions, a sanctuary for performing artisans, and a large room in the basement for active displays. In the two medium sized rooms the tables of displays lined the walls. This gave folks a path to follow, but also allowed plenty of room for folks to go around the one person who was admiring something they found truly amazing. There was a default front to every display so you didn't get a crick in your neck trying to look at things from other angles. Simply put, this was intuitive for the meandering human; you walk in, you stick to one wall, you follow it around until you are back at an exit, but there is plenty of room to accomodate gawkers and spontaneous conversations.

But the basement for the active displays was also brilliantly laid out. There happened to be a dais in the middle of the room, so they put some artisans there, but then the rest were arranged like spokes on a wheel. Again, you could walk into the room, follow the circular path around and back out easily. But there was also plenty of space for you to dive in, sit down and chat with any artisan who's display caught your interest. I remember Bera had a weaving display with samples up front for folks to touch/see, and she was doing an active display closer to the wall for anyone who wanted to come in out of the path and observe closer. Maddalena had a similar set-up with some handsewing she was working on. It was again, intuitive and accomodating.

Look, I drew a ruff pikshure:


I know there is already so much to consider for a large event, but if a little more consideration could be given to the layout of a hall for A&S, it could improve attendance and attention. We'd never create a field layout and then plan the fighting based on layout. The tournament is considered first, and how much space is needed and then tents are arranged around it. (and this is totally right BTW!) I'm just asking that the same level of thought is put into hall layout too. If you are hosting a brewing competition, how do the brewers naturally gather? Instead of a row of tables, what about a row but with a circle for the judges/competitors/those interested to gather around and sit and chat. For those who do scribal arts, there is a definite top/bottom to works, you want them approached from a certain angle. A table up against a wall means that you guide observers to approach the display from the best angle. If folks are doing an active display, plan on space behind a table for the artisan to sit and demo, and/or extra chairs for others to pull up and learn. For a costume display, plan on a space where there is room for dress forms beside a table (not blocking a path) or a clothing rack to hang items on for those who don't bring/have dress forms.

Just a random brain dump.

I've added a few new pages to my webpage.

One for the stockings, including pictures of Alan's legs in them, which the stockings fit much better.

Another page for Vair and Ermine to host Theo's handout for 20 Feet Up! and to also host the "Pumpkin" lantern instructions. Eventually I hope that Theo will write up something on the Herb Garden, as well as I can do a basic write up on the benches, tables and perhaps Thjora's version of our Glastonbury chairs.

Save the pink fabric I bought at war, the last load of laundry is done, and needs putting away. Some progress is better than none.



This was an excellent war, even if low-key for me. My first few days were relaxed, and spent mostly in camp trying to shake off the rest of the sickness. I spent a lot of time in camp fingerloop braiding pink strings to hand out to those fighters in the Free Scholar Charity tournament who donated above the minimum. I made 41 cords, and gave the extras to kids in camp, and such. I was glad to see folks wearing them the rest of the war. At last count $645 was raised for the Susan G Komen Foundation, which was very gratifying.

I spent more than a little time on the field MOLing. The Charity Tourney hosted 28 fighters and raised quite a sum. Giacomo was the runner up, and Wistric was the winner overall. The Youth Rapier Tournament had 7 participants, 4 over the age of 15, and 3 below. 31 teams, a total of 154 fighters, participated in the Atlantian 5 Man Melee Tournament on Wednesday morning, with Team Caer Mear victorious upon the field. And finally I assisted with the Atlantia-Aethelmearc Youth Rattan Tourney, running the Division 3 field. There were 9 teams of 5 fighters, so 45 fighters total between the ages of 14-17. Alas I screwed up the pairings at some point, didn't get the memo about the time constraint, and well, it wasn't my best day. The kids seemed to have a good time for the most part, which is ultimately the most important, and Scatamoosh was the undefeated winner overall.

Some of my time was spent working on the embroidery for Catherine Grace's laurel shawl, and planning for her vigil and elevation. I think I could have done better on the embroidery, except that much of it was done by pumpkin-light, and the wool, while gorgeous, was very unlike the evenweave linen I had previously done those stitches on. We were very glad to be part of making her vigil and elevation special and memorable for a very deserving lady.

I finally got to do shopping on the last day and picked up a new hairstick, a book on the collections in the Isabella Stewart Gardner musuem, some silk embroidery floss, lots of pink linen in three different shades, and some coral and glass beads to make a little paternoster.

It a was fun, hectic, inspiring, and entertaining week.

On the drive home I fielded a call from a friend and part of that conversation was "With Highland River Melees so close, why did you drive down to NC for an event this weekend?"

My quick answer was that Alan was a defender and we had promised to attend.

I must apologize to vom_schwarzwald as I took some pictures at the Pas this weekend, but certainly not lots. I was having far too good a time watching the fighting and enjoying good company to remember to pick up the camera all the time. I did take some though, and they can be seen on my flickr account, linked from this picture of Alan and Balen (?) fighting.



The weather was honestly a bit warmer than we'd have hoped, but luckily there was a fair breeze which helped. The field was well decorated and held by the defenders of the day. Many great fights were witnessed, friends enjoyed each other's company, good folks were recognized by Their Excellencies in court, and the feast prepared by Mistress Clare was obviously a gift from the gods and reward for a hot day and grueling fights, as it was delicious in every way. I weep for those who missed this feast, and did bring a baggie of cookies home, which are disappearing at an astonishing rate. Freddy and Alyce kindly took Alan back to the hotel, so I could spend some time with theodorad enjoying the bardic that followed feast. The fighters were rightfully tired at the end of the day, and crashed easily with a belly full of tasty food. Those of us who were largely decorative during the day could be considered dangerous when bored/ untasked at events. But Theo and I managed to make several lengths of trim, and I also got to chat with asim about Jamestown, etc.

Sunday morning, Alan let us sleep in until 9am, and then we were up and on the road homeward not too long after. Alan and I planned to stop at Kahill's in South Hill, VA for brunch on our way home. Man, those crab and bacon omelets were wonderful, and made for a very worthy pause in our journey home to eat in luxury in the light breeze of a warm but not hot day on the deck. We made it home by 3:30pm, and had the truck unpacked and stuff mostly cleaned up and put away an hour later, to enjoy a quiet evening at home watching some episodes of ROME season 2 in the basement.

Had a great time at the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival this weekend. I gave out all 75 handouts I'd made over the course of the two days, and introduced lots of folks to sprang who had never heard of it before.

My left side is all achy (jaw, wrist, ankle) and I'm feeling a bit grumpy. (I'm sure it has nothing to do with annual work reviews and the 4th version I'm on...)

So, I'm gonna pull another old email out for a post. This one becomes relevant as Crown Tourney approaches.

Brain fart. It is 5:20, and I am obviously not making my 5pm acupuncture appointment. DOH! I hate it when I flake out. But I called and apologized and rescheduled for Thursday. I'm sure there is a fee for forgetting an appointment and I wouldn't blame them. sigh.
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Remember this: "Oh, and yes, I do look over the sign-in sheets and will call out anyone I see who I noticed did not sign in." from Thursday's post?
Yeah, had to do that a couple of times. It is probably true that not all MOLs will continuously scan the field all day to check and see if they spot someone who didn't sign in, but I do. Heraldry works. Frankly it is not our jobs, but one I can't help but do. Oh, and the proper response to being called out from not signing in the weekend before is "Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I will do my best to not let it happen again."  Your answer should not be "yeah, I was running late, and besides, its only fencing..."  Really wrong answer buddy and you do not make friends with that sentiment.

Okay, it's not like it is difficult. You bloodly well will sign in at the list table when there is a tourney you want to get your name in. Why does that seem to be the only motivation? Are we not normally happy and smiley and glad to see you when you come to us at the tables? The rules haven't changed in years. If you want to fight at an official SCA event, you have to sign in at the list tables. You don't even have to be a member anymore. All you need is a fighter card and the ability to sign a waiver. How easy do we have to make it? (No, I will not roam around the list field going from shade to shade offering to sign you in.) End of story.

Yes, color me a bit frustrated at having to hunt down and report fighters for not signing in.

Again, I say Thank You to the 95% of fighters who are patient, kind and just who do sign-in every time. You stand as a good example to others, and have my gratitude.
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Tournament of Chivalry boasted 84 fighters upon the field, 20 of whom were knights. 3 members of the Order of Chivalry took the black and gold staff to marshal all day instead of fight, with several other volunteers, so that those 84 could fight in safety. I think this must have been the first Tournament of Chivalry to have enough marshals, as Alan signed in to marshal if needed, but relaxed in shade instead. Folks did seem to have a fun time both on and off the field. I just made it over to our dayshade to witness Sir Corby taking Girard as a squire of his household, and welcome him to the fold. I was blessed with excellent company at the list table as Gabrell helped me sign in fighters, and random other entertaining folks brought food and stopped by for a visit.

We departed the site fairly early to retire back to our house for cleaning up, starting the grill and eating some of the metric ton of food I made available. I forgot the chips though. We had a lovely full house of friends and "family" and much chatting took place throughout the evening. Eventually, all the tired folks crawled up to bed, I gave Gabrell a ride back home, and read a bit before hitting the sack myself. Sunday dawned nice and rainy, and everyone beat me out of bed to wakefulness but Corby. We made a breakfast of left over sausages and burger meat, scrambled eggs, and waffles. Mmm... waffles. Alan then napped on the couch as I checked email, and as soon as I turned off all the lights and TV, and went to nap on the living-room couch, he awoke, so I got to snuggle into a pre-warmed couch for my nap.  We watched some of John Adams, did the dishes and clean up, started the laundry,  and did more clean-up for the rest of the evening. I then read a bit, but my brain decided at midnight that the kitchen floors must be cleaned, so I swept and swept, and spot cleaned a few places before finally crashing in bed and calling it a weekend.
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Since we've decided we're not going to Crown, I contacted Ingvild and offered to come up and help out at the MD Sheep and Wool Festival in the Medieval and Renaissance Textiles Showcase tent. I've been assigned sprang to demo, which should be a ton of fun, and has me inspired to pull out the loom again and play with it some more so I'll have more examples to display. I wonder if I could set-up the banner stand Alan made for whipcording at the Children's Fete last year for a really tall loom to work on a belt or sash or something? The mind reels. Is it safe to assume we are to be in garb for the demo? Who else can I look forward to seeing there?

Night on the Town was lots of fun.

However, our pottery shipment had arrived, from our expenditures at Glades Pottery the weekend before in Florida, while we were at the event, and I simply could not resist unpacking the treats. So Alan indulged me and we unpacked all the pretties and  sorted them into piles, and admired the wonderful colors, and then contentedly headed to bed. I really should try to take some pictures of Walter's work in the sunshine to really show off how lovely his stuff is.

Sunday I had planned to head back to site for clean-up, but accidentally slept in and we didn't leave for site until almost 10am. When I called Gabrell he said that they were almost done and we didn't need to come out if we didn't want to, so we delivered Matt and Susan's pottery to them, and left Lisette's for pick-up as well, and chatted with the Susan a bit, and then headed home to work on cleaning and putting away and other chores, such as a much needed nap.

I've still got a bit of a sore throat (but am on the antibiotics so no worries) and am working my way out of grump and funk to life again.

Bess and Schecky have this great term: Level Up! It's when you see something done well that is cool that you wish to implement in your own world. It's the idea of never resting on laurels, but always striving to advance and improve.

No one springs forth fully formed. Isobel has her Hall of Shame to show how far she's come. I've seen Thjora's early event picture of floral head wreath and "Irish" dress. I have my own shameful past of poly-cotton poorly made t-tunics, the worst chemise ever, and a day spent at Pennsic in a knee-length tunic stolen from Cuan, stripey socks, construction boots, and pigtails. Everyone starts somewhere.

"Level Up" also acknowledges that the SCA is an entire experience, so while you may do costuming, it just doesn't look right sitting in a Coleman chair; while you may be a cook, you can still sleep in a canvas pavilion; while you may be a fighter, you can still help set-up a nice list field fence instead of orange caution tape.

First thing I want to mention is that some have no desire to improve, and that is their choice. This is not meant to deride those individuals, but to help those who do want to improve and don't know how. (*Please note that I don't want comments whining about why you can't upgrade. I've seen many amazing feats accomplished by folks with bad backs, small cars and little money. Your choices may be more limited, but they are your choices.)

I don't think it would be a huge breach of protocol to say that we've been discussing vigil notification and the execution of adding new members to the Atlantian Order of the Pelican. This is largely in theory and a bit of reminiscing on many folks parts, but also an exploration of the methods in use and if there is a superiority. Is the "new" method of writs the best? Most period? But what about Atlantian "tradition" of having the peerage sprung on you as a surprise?

Personally, I was surprised at Crusades 2002, and am very glad that it was done so, and most honored by the friends who gave of themselves for me that day. In retrospect, I think I would have freaked out staying up all night to finish an outfit and such if I had been given advanced notice. While some may reel from the shock of the surprise, I was glad I got a full night of sleep to be able to process and appreciate the visits and advice I received that day. While many who have been given writs of late have used them to their advantage, I am most glad that I had the surprise and the long walk up the hill with the King and the Queen to help steady me and give me their perspectives before I was asked to listen to others. Those slightly frightened tearful shocked minutes up the hill, in seeming private, as everyone followed were worth more to me than weeks of private contemplation would have been. If you want to read the full story and account the day after, it's all on my old blog here.

So, without making any promises to pass on this knowledge, and without making any presumption of where one is on their path, what do you think? If the day should come, what would you prefer as the method of entering any SCA order of peerage? Would you like to be surprised? Would you like a writ and a month to prepare? Would you like something completely different? If you already are a Peer, what was your experience, and what would you have changed, if anything?

Share!

Digging up yet more old email...  I think this applies more to non-peers who want to visit Pelican and Laurel vigils than Knighting vigils, but hopefully decent advice on the whole.
--------------------------------------------

Vigil Visiting Tips that seem to work in Atlantia: 

1. If you mostly want to issue congrats, or if what you have to say isn't deeply personal, consider going in a group to visit the candidate. This lets the candidate visit more people in the little amount of time given. It also shows you understand the time constraints and are willing to compromise. 

2. Check with the person minding the line. Let them know that you'd like to get in, and that it means a lot to you. Sometimes they can slip you in while waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom or something. 

3. Pop into the vigil hospitality area periodically if you have other things to do. It could be that the third time you come back there is practically no wait. 

4. Go over in your mind the basics that you want to get out, so you can maximize the time given. 

5. Sign the vigil book. Even if you don't get in, it shows the person that you wanted to visit them and gives them a record of those in attendance that came to support them.

I've actually had the pleasure to be involved in several vigils of friends and acquaintances. I can tell you that a lot depends on the person running the vigil. I've been to vigils that inspired awe, and some that disappointed me. (Hello, my name is Gen and I've become a vigil snob.) Ultimately the candidate's happiness and comfort is the
main goal. But if the person running the vigil recognizes that the person staffing the hospitality table thinks enough of the candidate to work for them, then they will probably think to give them a break and let them visit. I've let several non-peers ahead of me in line at a vigil for the reason that I recognized that they were closer to the candidate than myself. I've learned that not everyone can anticipate the needs of others. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that not
everyone should have to. :) 

In order to save you from more blithering posts, I thought I'd dig up some of my old sent mail. Sometimes I'm inspired to write to a particular list on a topic that might help more than just that one list. In our wonderful internet age, there is a lot of noise and sometimes it is difficult to filter out the signal. I wrote this a while ago regarding being heard on Order lists, so that your signal comes through. This can also be applied somewhat to writing recommendations in general, not just to discussions on Order lists.

I hope this helps.
Comments cheerfully accepted.
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In response to one of my postings in the (then) recent discussions, I received a private note saying I should offer lessons on how to write to the list. While I'm certain that none of what follows is new, perhaps it does bear repeating after this weekend.

The first thing is that we must rethink how we compose messages to lists. We initially write from the point of view of what we want to say. Sadly, this often leads to plastering emotion all over the message. Instead we all need to write from the point of view of what we want others to hear. This is a subtle but distinct difference. When you are emotionally riled at the keyboard, you may wish to say "You are a bunch of poo-poo-heads for not recognizing the brilliance of..." however the insult will override the message you want to get across. If instead you compose your message thinking what the rest need to and will hear, it comes across stronger. "The brilliance of so-n-so can be seen in their reasoned response to problem X and how they manage Y..."

We are mostly all friends with someone on the watchlist. We often rally to our friends' support, but when we do so, we need to remember that everyone knows we are close and may just see us as blindly supporting our friends. Instead of saying "they are constantly in the kitchen doing dishes at every event", giving the Order circumstances helps more. "They were seen in the kitchens for our last five local events and at Coronation outside of our group, working during the prep at dishes to leave less work at the end of the night." Do not stay silent in the support of your friends, for those closest know how hard a person works. Instead present as many facts as possible, and follow-up with a qualifying statement on the quality of their work and that you recognize your bias, because you are friends, but this is your opinion and what you see.

It is rarely useful to respond bit by bit in response to another letter, despite how easy it seems. Try to work your responses into an entire cohesive note without quoting, unless the particular wording is important to respond to. It can come off looking childish in behavior, "He hit me back first!" instead of presenting a well thought out argument for or against someone/thing. We've all done it, but I think on the whole it makes our comments stronger, and easier for our Principal to add to the watchlist, if we avoid the practice of responding in-line.

Lastly we need to know when to say when. Once you have given the facts you have, have responded to any particular questions, and presented the best case you can, it is time to step back from the keyboard. There is an adage that roughly states "Do not wrestle with a pig in the mud, for it only gets you dirty and the pig enjoys it." Carefully read over each note you wish to send twice or more. Your phrasing could make you sound like a hero, or it could make you sound like a raving lunatic. Consider whether the note you wish to respond to even deserves a response. It is possible that no one else is bothering to respond for just that reason. Only when it does, should you respond and ensure that your response is as eloquent and rational as possible. And if it is something you will have to apologize for later, just save yourself the trouble and don't hit send. There are times and places when asking forgiveness rather than permission works wonders, but Order lists in particular are not those places since actions are always remembered and forgiveness rarely universally forthcoming.

These are some of the ideas that immediately come to mind. Please note that normal netiquette still applies, and yes your spell checker is your friend, as is knowing the difference between their and there, and your and you're. None of these ideas are hard and fast rules, but hopefully reminders that will help us all write better notes to the list that will get our recommendations and messages heard by the rest of the Order. It will take you much longer to compose a message, this is true, but what you say will likely have greater impact.